Merge Nymphs

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Merge Nymphs's Review

If Nutaku doesn’t stop coming expanding their game library soon, then by 2022, half of the world’s nuts will be busted entirely to their content. Today I’m covering Merge Nymphs, which is one of their weirder titles, in terms of what you actually spend your time doing in this game.Now I don’t want to scare you – there are hentai babes in this game and they do in fact suck you off. What I don’t understand is the core gameplay. It confuses me to no end. I mean, most of Nutaku’s other games are RPGs and that makes a lot more sense if you think about it. Nerds love to role-play and they love to imagine themselves making love to drawn women. So, naturally, it makes sense that Nutaku’s gacha visual novels are actually RPGs in disguise.Moving Across a GridWe’re way out of left field with Merge Nymphs though. This is a puzzle game, the likes of which you haven’t seen since the late 90s. For those of you who were around the gaming scene in the late 90s, you might remember that for some reason games in which you move boxes around were extremely popular. You know the ones I mean. You’d be some guy in a warehouse and you’d have to push boxes across a grid until you put them in their place and clear a path for yourself to exit the level. Why these were ever so popular I’ll never know. Maybe it gave unemployed people a sense of purpose.Well, Merge Nymphs takes a lot of pages from these games. You play it on a grid, with an isometric perspective. There are 2D sprites across a 2D plane and you move boxes… Ok, they’re not boxes, they’re cocks. And also bras, and sometimes panties. This game makes absolutely no sense to me, but from what I gather your main purpose is to push objects together to merge them into bigger, more valuable objects until you’re done moving objects for the purpose of said merger. This game’s synopsis sounds more like a stock portfolio than a smut game and I find my attention span abandoning me.It’s Not a Nutaku Game Without GachaThere’s gacha in this game. I know, big surprise. Nutaku sure does love their virtual in-game gambling minigames. Like in their other titles, the gacha mini-game is a huge help in your quest towards banging hotter girls. You can use it to acquire items to improve your characters, but who cares about that, am I right? The best part of the gacha is that you can unlock new girls to add to your squad. In total there are 80 of them. They’re called nymphs but I like to pretend they’re nymphos instead, as they just can’t keep it in their pants. I relate to them quite a lot in that regard.A Cock-Fueled StorylineThere are only 30 sex scenes in total though, but they’re worth it. Even though the overall style of this game seems to be catered to children and the elderly, the smut is very much my cup of tea. This is probably the area where Nutaku’s design and development shine the most. If I had to guess, I’d say that most of their investment goes towards the artists that make the visual novel parts of the game. These tits are plump and fuckable and the asses are divine. You wouldn’t be able to guess from their in-combat sprites that these girls are proper sex goddesses.You are healing the planet from evil golems and also pollution. How do you heal the planet? By dicking around with cocks – literally. Since you’re controlling your nympho nymphs on the battlefield, you naturally have them interacting with as many cocks as possible. As for the evil golems, there are some creatures that attack your nymphs here and there, but they’re more of a nuisance than an enemy. Plus, there’s no direct combat in the game so you can pretty much ignore them completely. You’re here to move shit around, match three of a kind and make even bigger shit. It sounds riveting, I know.But you can collect miscellaneous objects while you’re moving around on the grid, including but not limited to items that you can equip onto your characters. These are mostly lingerie and sex toys, but they apparently help your party somehow.In between these stages, that are all very similar to one another, you get the map menu through which you can track your progress on the global map of this magical world. You’ll visit magical destinations such as the old harbor and the wasteland, as well as the rubbish pit and the junkyard. And every single one of these will be littered with 12-inch dildos for some reason. I’ve seen a lot of Nutaku’s fantastical sexual worlds but I have never seen this many dicks in one place before, and I review porn for a living. I think I might have also seen a discarded uterus on the game map at one point, so I’m very much out of my element. I prefer my uteri to remain on the inside of the woman.Also, the trees have breasts. I have absolutely no idea what to do with that information, but at least now you know what I know.Music and VoiceUnfortunately, even though most of the story is told through the visual novel dialogues, you don’t get any voice acting to go along with them. You have to put on your reading glasses and dig deep into this cookie-cutter literature the hard way. You don’t even get sex noises. It’s a damn shame. Some of Nutaku’s other titles that do feature voice acting have some of the hottest sex noises I’ve ever heard. They’re better than most of the pleasure moans I’ve heard in actual hentai movies.There’s also a bunch of random sounds that play when you perform certain actions, but like the rest of the game, they’re very strange. You have to hear them to believe they’re real, but they left me with a lot of questions. Try them out, you’ll see what I mean.Worth Your Time?All right, look, I’ve been droning on and on about how this game is complicated, weird and loaded with dicks, but it is not by any means a bad game. In fact, if you enjoy fast-paced puzzle games, you might love this gameplay. Also, the dicks aren’t distracting. They’re really funny, actually. And the breast trees, I mean, they’re freaking hilarious. Plus, the sex scenes are absolutely to die for, so you’ve got a possible gem hiding beneath the surface of this oddball porn game.Now on the lukewarm side of things, this is a freemium game and you have to keep that in mind. There are tons of unlockables in this game that take a damn long time to get your hands on. If you want to master this game, you’re going to have to fork over the hard cash. Now, I’m the last guy to be faulting you for spending money on pornography. You know it’s my bread and butter. Besides, there’s no such thing as too much smut. My only recommendation here is that if you’re going to spend money on a Nutaku game, that you check out their more popular titles and see if they might be a better fit. But if you’re a puzzle buff, chances are this is the right Nutaku title for you.For a Nutaku title, the game absolutely lives up to standards. You expect their games to have a certain level of quality, particularly in the art department, and this game lives up to the Nutaku name. I really wish there were more titties during the combat, but for some reason, Nutaku really likes keeping the smut away from the action. I think it’s a psychological trick to get you hyped about the gameplay. When you play the game, you anticipate the smut and so you pull forward.I just don’t think that this is the kind of game you can play with your hand in your pants and that saddens me. But if any of you puzzle buffs would like to take me up on the challenge, try it. Try getting through Merge Nymphs in 1001 strokes or less. And if you get bored halfway, jump over to Nutaku’s Booty Calls. For what it’s worth that’s my recommendation for the hottest game that Nutaku has to offer.

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